Monday, May 15, 2006

Anorexics of the World, Unite!

Okay, so apparently there are plenty of anorexics in the world and they certainly like to organize.

But even the skinniest, most beautiful anorexic should be able to see the selfishness and wasted effort in her actions. I have a solution that will work out to everybody's best interests.

Why couldn't all the anorexics of the world (sorry, bulimics, you're left out of this one) unite on a massive hunger strike? They don't even have to agree on a cause; although unification would present a stronger message, consensus from such a large community is unrealistic, and everybody has their pet causes. They are well familiar with the consequences of malnutrition; they would take care not to overexert themselves, and wouldn't make the common "rookie" mistake of drinking too much water, which can hasten the metabolism. Concerned doctors and parents would have no choice but to support their lifestyle; they would no longer have to go to great lengths to conceal missed periods and vomiting spells. Perhaps most important of all, standing up and fighting for a cause in which they believe would give anorexics self-esteem and confidence, though hopefully not too much or they might not be anorexic anymore.

So the next time you start to calculate how many calories are in your toothpaste, stop and think of the potential you possess to make the world a better place for all of us.

Anorexics: Making pallbearers' jobs easier since 1962.



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